Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Wilde Life

Symbol of Chaos
Symbol of Chaos

"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes." 
-- Oscar Wilde


Since my last post, I must say that my life has turned completely upside down.  This is already a good thing, and will probably prove to be the best thing that could have happened to me.  BUT, it was traumatic, tragic, and extremely dramatic.

It would actually make a fabulous tale, and anyone reading this would probably rather me simply tell it, in all its epic grandeur... than wax philosophic and abstract as I am about to do. It is, after all, a tale of treachery, danger, deceit, betrayal, loss, heartbreak, and narrowly averted catastrophe, after all.  

There is the requisite amount of kindness and salvation, of course--or I wouldn't be here writing about it--and it has certainly taken this protagonist from one extreme to another while slapping him relentlessly with every error he had made in his now former life... leaving him a world away from where he began, all while bringing him back full circle to where he actually started.

But alas, the tale is still too fresh to be told.  And, this would not be the right venue for it anyway.

What I will say here, is that when the forces of darkness and chaos come crashing through your gates, you would be wise to not assume that they are friendly or reasonable.

Forces of Chaos

While I will emerge from this episode stronger than ever, and in a better position than I could have hoped for had the crises not descended on me, I would not wish what I have been through in the past few weeks on anyone... not even the people who brought it down on me.

The betrayal, and subsequent loss of much of what I had built and amassed since the millennium... was devastating. If I hadn't come through it with my life,  my life's work, my most valued treasures, and enough of my health to rebuild properly... I may well have adopted a less magnanimous stance.  But, as it is, this "greek tragedy" of a series of unfortunate but not random events, actually allowed me to bypass many months of hardship, many years of learning, and enabled me to skip forward to a life that has been calling out to me for a very long time. Perhaps more importantly, it showed me who my friends are... and who they aren't.

Oscar Wilde also famously said that true friends stab you in the front.  And this is about as poignant as it gets.  The key saviors in my story all have been critical and even adversarial to me in the past, and even now are not averse to slapping me in the face with my foolishness.  But they do it out of love... and to my face.  

The people who turned out to be my enemies all smiled and pretended to be my biggest fans. They were the people who enabled me, and encouraged me down paths that would prove to be about as toxic as they come... And, in the end, these fawning and "easy" associates were also the ones that plotted against me, and used my secrets to deliver a poisonous and deadly blow from my blindest of blind spots. Shelob herself could not have spun a nastier trap.

Shelob by Ted Nasmith

But like Frodo... and Bilbo before him, I was lucky.  This wily old wizard, and his few but very potent allies, has made it through. The truth, as it always winds up, was revealed... and (knock on wood) I think I shall never be so foolish again.  At least I pray that my future lessons in life will be sans stress and easy on the drama.  (extremely easy, por favor)

I don't want to give the impression that I was a hapless victim in all of this.  On the contrary, I can clearly see how I laid the foundations for my own ruin... and how my stubbornness and hard-headed refusal to see the truth made the drama not only possible, but necessary even.

"You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad."  
-- Aldous Huxley

Whether Aldous was talking about anger or madness... or both, is a good question. I tend to go with both. In any either-or situation, it is generally both. The synthesis. But this is a topic for my next post on the dialectic.

I suppose I will wrap this post up by quoting a classic song. It tends to go that music expresses better the feelings of mankind than any amount of words. If a picture is worth a thousand words... a song is worth a million.

If you know this song, then you know how I am feeling now... if not, listen to it.

I Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash:

* little known fact: Bob Marley actually plays on this tune and helped Johnny Nash write much of the album. http://marcoonthebass.blogspot.com/2011/03/johnny-nash-bob-marley-play-one-time.html


  1. Today I challenge the world without leaving home
    Today I am a creature sincere and fair with me

    Men may come, they will not shake me
    Dogs smell fear, Therefore they will not find me

    This is not about courage, but my eyes are distant
    And I camouflaged in the landscape, giving me time to sing

    1. Very nice lines...

      Are they yours? They deserve to be put to music.

      Thanks for adding that.

      <3 <3


Please comment! Post anonymously if you like. All thoughts, impressions, cordial (and even not so cordial) debate encouraged.

Join the blog & follow the posts to get the most interaction... but even the most random anonymous thoughts are welcome if they are not spam.